Nap strikes are a special kind of sleep regression, where your child who used to nap like a champ just starts to refuse to go down for a nap. These occur common around the times that children are transition between various nap periods
(For more on sleep regressions, you can read my articles here: Are sleep regressions real? and How to deal with a sleep regression).
The pain of missing a nap
When you child starts refusing naps, it can be quite painful, whether you are a stay at home parent, or work outside of the home. What can compound the frustration is when your child continues to nap in school or for their babysitter but cannot be bothered to go down when you are at home.
Children are more likely to skip naps for their parents than for child care providers. Why is this? Think of attention as the currency that your child is always seeking. Attention from parents is infinitely more valuable than attention from teachers or babysitters. (This also explains the often observed fact that kids don’t want to get out of bed on school days but get up early on weekends. When my kids were younger, this was less for attention for me than for time on the almighty iPad, a privilege which they only get on the weekend).
Why naps are often a pain point
Naps are also problematic for a few other reasons. First, it is light during the day, which is not conducive to good sleep. Second, your child’s natural sleep drive is less during the day than at night. Here’s my guide to troubleshooting nap issues.
When do nap strikes occur?
There are are some times when you expect your child to reduce the number of naps:
- Between six and fifteen months, babies who are taking a third nap will give it up, and bedtime will get earlier.
- Around 18-24 months, children will typically move from a morning and afternoon nap.
- Between ages 2-4 years, most children will give up their nap entirely.
What to do about a nap strike?
First, if a nap gets skipped for a day or two, don’t panic. This is a common occurs.
Next, check and see if your child is in one of the developmental windows above, your child may be in the process of giving up a nap.
In the first two scenarios (three naps to two, two naps to one), you can lean into the less frequent, shorter naps. You can actually get more done when your kid takes longer naps.
With children between ages two and four may be in the natural process of giving up their naps, and you have a perfect storm of nap refusal and parental despair. This is often a painful process as your child doesn’t just naturally wake up one day and not need the nap anymore. Typically, they are whiny and difficult during the prior nap period, and this can persist for a month or two.
If you think that your child is now habitually skipping a nap that you are confident that they still need, I have a few suggestions:
- Make sure the room is pitch black, if at all possible.
- Try a later or earlier nap time– by 15 minute intervals. See if a new time works better.
- Make sure your nap time routine is a mini version of bedtime, but keep it short– 10-15 minutes.
- If all else fails, expect that your child will stay in their room for 30 minutes, even if he cries. It is totally reasonable to expect some down time for yourself, even if your child is unable to sleep.
For more on napping, here’s a guide to dealing with nap difficulties.
