Before you starting thinking about sleep training, you need to look at your child’s eating habits at night. I would strongly recommend that you stop any caloric intake as one of your first steps in getting your child to sleep through the night. Sometimes, stopping nocturnal feeds is all you need to do to get your child to sleep through the night. Here’s my guide on how to stop night feeds and get better sleep at night.
Years ago, I ordered a sleep test on an obese four year old who was waking up multiple times during the night. Since he snored, I thought it was possible that he might have obstructive sleep apnea. As it turns out, he had a different problem. The tech noted that the child was waking up every two to three hours as the mother had told me. What she had not told me was that she was giving him an 8 oz bottle of milk every time he woke up. Thus, we solved two mysteries– why he was waking up, and why he was obese.
The fact is, unless your child is an infant, he does not need to eat between bedtime and wake time. Addressing this issue can help him (and you) sleep better at night.
Why does feeding at night result in sleep disruption?
Imagine I woke you up every night at 2 AM and gave you an ice cream sundae. One week later, I stop feeding at night. But you still would wake up hungry. This is what happens to some kids. It is unclear why this is the case. I suspect that some parents get in the habit of responding to any nocturnal awakenings with feeding. Just like you might feel sleepy after having that ice cream sundae, they go back to sleep. Over time, the pattern gets reinforced. I call this pattern learned hunger.
When can I stop feeding at night?
There are a couple of questions to consider.
- Is your child growing well? If the answer is no, your child may need those calories at night. If you are not sure how your child is growing, please talk to your pediatrician.
- How old is your child? Bottle fed infants typically can wean off night feeding by 6 months of age. Breast fed infants tend to take longer, up to a year of age. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends exclusive breastfeeding for six months, with the addition of complementary foods continuting up to a year, or longer “as desired by mother and infant”. It’s important to note that night weaning can lead to weaning altogether. More on this below.
- Do you want to continue night nursing? Some moms, especially those who work outside of the home, value the closeness and extra time that night nursing provides. If that is the case, you don’t need to stop, provided that you are getting enough rest. If not, you may need to make a choice between getting better sleep and dealing with a dwindling milk supply.
How to stop feeding at night
There is one guiding principle here. Don’t go cold turkey. It is equivalent to asking your child to skip a meal every day. They could do it, but they would be miserable (and so would you). Instead, the plan is to make slow incremental changes over time. These changes are relatively easy to make and your child will tolerate them well.
How to stop bottle feeding at night
So, your child is over six months of age, growing well, and still feeding frequently at night. If you child drinks milk (breast, cow, goat, or otherwise) or formula, this is relatively straightforward. There are two ways to to wean this, and I have a strong preference for the first one.
- Wean one ounce a night: Let’s say your child takes three 4 oz bottles a night. You take the last bottle and reduce it by an an oz on night one. On night 2, you reduce bottle 2 by 1 oz. On night 3 you reduce Bottle #1 by 1 oz. When a bottle gets down to 2 oz, substitute a bottle of water. After this step, you get rid of the bottle. Whatever you do, don’t wake up your child if they sleep through a feeding– that is the goal. If they skip a feeding one night but wake up the following night for that feeding, it is OK to give them the scheduled bottle. Expert tip: write this schedule out beforehand. You won’t remember it in the middle of the night.
Here’s this example by by night:
Night 1: 4 oz, 4 oz, 3 oz
Night 2: 4 oz, 3 oz, 3 oz
Night 3: 3 oz, 3 oz, 3oz
Night 4: 3 oz, 3 oz, 2 oz
Night 5: 3 oz, 2 oz, 2 oz
Night 6: 2 oz, 2 oz, 2 oz
Night 7: 2 oz, 2 oz, H20
Night 8: 2 oz, H20, H20
Night 9: H20, H20, H20.
I would limit the water bottles to 2 oz, simply to reduce the amount of urine produced and wet diapers to deal with. If your child doesn’t want the water, that is fine. But don’t give in and give the milk. - All other methods: The other ways to do this include increasing the amount of time between feeds, and reducing calories in each bottle. I don’t like the first way, because then you drag out the intervals when your child is potentially crying. I don’t like the second because a) it’s too complicated to figure out how to dilute the milk night to night b) milk + water = gross.
How to stop breastfeeding at night
This is a bit of a more complicated topic. I reached out to my friend and former colleague Dr. Sylvia Romm for more information on this topic. Sylvia is a pediatrician and the founder of Milk On Tap, a company which provides lactation support to families via the internet. Here’s what she has to say about the evolution of nocturnal feeding in infants:
- All babies are born eating every 2–4 hours, even at night
- A mother’s body only makes more milk if milk is emptied from the breast. If milk is left in the breast, the body gets the signal that it should make less milk
- Women have different capacities for milk storage (it doesn’t have anything to do with breast size). Women with larger capacities can go longer before their breasts are full, and therefore can go longer before their milk supply is affected. Women with smaller capacities have to feed more often, or their milk will go down.
- In the early weeks, breastfed babies should rarely go longer than 4 hours without eating, not only to ensure that the baby is eating enough, but also to ensure mother’s milk supply is established. Even then, most women need to breastfeed at least 8 times per day, although some women can breastfeed often during a period of time (usually during the night, called cluster feeding) and can go longer chunks of time at other times in the day without affecting their supply.
- After about 4–6 weeks, some women can start to feed their children less often, generally moving towards 6 times per day. These are usually women with a larger capacity. These women can start to find that they may be able to go longer stretches at night.
- At this age, most babies will still want to wake often at night, and so night feedings are more for the baby.
- At 2–3 months, some babies can go for longer stretches at night (by that I mean starting to break the 6 hour mark). That’s when mother’s supply can begin to be an issue. Mothers without the larger capacity report that they can never go more than 6 hours without breastfeeding, or their supply starts to go down.
- There are no studies out there that look at this topic, but from my anecdotal experience, I believe that the push to sleep train at 4 months in the US contributes to women “not making enough milk”, or saying that their “milk just dried up”. This is a common age for mothers to both report that they are encouraging their babies to sleep longer and for women to report that their milk supply is failing to keep up with their baby’s needs.
- However, that’s OK, As long as mothers realize that night weaning may lead to complete weaning at this age.
- Many mothers report that they need to do an extra pump or feed at night once their child is sleeping longer at night. If you do feed, trying a dream feed (where you don’t wake up the child but feed them anyway) can both help a child sleep longer and help mother keep up her supply.
As Sylvia points out, there is actually not much research to provide guidance with night weaning. She notes that this can be a “confusing and difficult journey for parents and baby.”
Sylvia notes are a couple of different ways to go about night weaning.
- You can shorten each night feeding session: This can be hard to do, however, as it is hard to be disciplined and watch the clock in the middle of the night.
- You can space out the feeds: If your child feeds on a pretty regular schedule, you can try to stretch out the interval between feeding. However, this is pretty hard to do if your kid is crying.
- Get Dad (or the non-nursing partner) involved: This might be the most effective method, Syliva says, “I’ve found that the most successful method is moving the child out of the bed and picking a middle of the night wake up that’s usually a feeding, but sending dad in to the kid instead. That way the baby can be comforted back to sleep, but they learn that it’s not a feeding time. Dad can’t give in, so that temptation is removed. It gets dad involved, and gives mom more sleep. Honestly, I love daddies, but usually if the baby isn’t fed, the kiddos just start sleeping through that wake up.”
Note that options 2 and 3 are going to be pretty difficult if you are bedsharing with your child. So you may want to move your child out of your bed first. (Here’s my post on how to stop cosleeping the least painful way possible).
The Take Home
Many families, especially those who are breastfeeding, may struggle with letting go of night feeds. However, when you are ready to do so, making the changes above can go a long way towards an uninterrupted night of sleep. Please share this article if you find it useful, and leave any questions you have in the comments.
I start training my 4month old boy. We try to get him sleep 8to 8.It is been 1week,he can fall asleep bedtime crying about 5minutes. wake up half hour and cry 8minutes again and fall asleep. The hard part is the feeding in the middle of night. he is still on breastfeeding and will wake up every 3or 4hours to be fed. After feeding, he ususally fall asleep but wake up 10minutes later and cry about 15 minutes to fall asleep. Worst is the early morning feeding,around 4am,after feeding, he cry about half hour then fall asleep and cry again about every 15minutes. until 6.30 he wake up and I feed him. he
He doesnt want to go back to sleep. after crying 40minutes he will fall asleep.he need to cry 40minutes to fall asleep.
I wonder am I doing right. I used to comfort him to sleep after feeding him. sometimes patting him and sometimes share the bed. Shall I continue the way I used to be or shall I keep him CIO after feeding. I found he is super tired during daytime, after CIO in the middle of night. I guess he lack sleep.
Could you help me out?what shall I do?
His feeding pattern is pretty normal for a 4 month old baby. It is great that he is falling asleep on his own. I think I would continue to let him fall asleep on his own at bedtime but then comfort him during the night. You will hopefully see some improvement by six months of age.
Hi Dr Canapari, I have 9 month (7 corrected) twins, born at 31/40 2′ to iugr one is on 9th other 91st centile for weight. My smaller girl wakes every 60-120 mins overnight. They both will only nurse to sleep. Every evening from 630-930 is cluster feeding. I’m exclusively bf (one can’t manage to suck bottle). They have no developmental delay. Would you think it would be an appropriate time to sleep train them or are they too young /low weight? Thank you!!
Only your pediatrician can answer the nutritional question for you– e.g. when it is OK to night wean. I will say that the likelihood of your child sleeping through the night while feeding that much is low, and your focus should be on the feeding issue. It would be OK to work on getting your child to fall asleep without nursing.
Hello Dr.,
Question for you… I have a 15 month old daughter who is still breastfed and in our bed. (Ugh) Given our situation until now we have had no other room for her to sleep in, therefore she has had to be in our bed. We now have another room for her and we want to start sleep training her. I have also started weaning her however she still wakes and wants to feed in the night. I assume it’s mostly comfort feeding since she’s constantly getting new teeth in lately. Do you think it’s possible to wean her and the night feelings while she’s still in our bed. How would I go about doing that? Or should I wait til she starts sleeping in her own room (as of December 1st). We definitely aren’t getting good sleep anymore so something needs to be done. I just don’t know the best way to go about this! Help! 🙂
-Sara
I might move in with her room first with her. Once that is established, work on cutting back the feeds. Then move out. I’d talk about it with your pediatrician.
I really need help I just can’t do this anymore my boy will be 2 next month even tho he didn’t sleep thru the night since he was a newborn I did listen to others it will change when he gets older I also have a 1 year old and don’t have problems with her she would wake up 1-3 times sometime but she can sleep up to 12 hours I just don’t know what to do I did mentioned that to his pediatrician but it seems like she is not worried about it he was a first one in a family I do think that he is spoiled a little bit but I don’t think that is a reason not to sleep when he wakes up at 2-3 am I know that is nothing wrong with him he is going to play and scream waking up my daughter is am worried that it will bother even neighbours we just moved in in this apartment my husband is a truck driver so I am on my own I did go and sign them up in daycare thinking it will get better but even after almost a month a don’t see any change pleaseeeeee help
Sounds like you have a lot going on. I would go back to your pediatrician (make an appointment) and review these challenges in detail. Good luck. See my FAQ for more information.
My one year old is still feeding once or twice in the night. When I go in and feed him I can hear his stomach growling. So I know he actually is hungry. But also it’s never the same time that he’s waking up in the night. We have another baby coming in less than six weeks. I really am at a loss as what to do.
I’d try weaning the night feeds like I’ve detailed above.
I have 1 year old twins. My girl, who actually weighs almost 5 lbs less than my boy, sleeps like a dream! We never had to do any sleep training. She started sleeping through the night by 6 months. My son is a different story. He seems to want to feed more in the middle of the night than when he was an infant. And we are exhausted. Each baby has his/her own room but for ease and laziness we have started letting our son sleep in our bed because he wakes up so frequently and wants to nurse. There is a part of me that wants to hold onto nursing but I am sure life will be easier if I give it up. I am not a fan of letting him cry. One because it breaks my heart (and he has basically passed out from crying so hard) and two, he wakes his sister. She is in a different room with a sound machine etc. but she hears him. So to prevent mayhem with two screaming babies in the middle of the night, we (I) acquiesce and go to his beckon call. Should the first step be to take away the breast? And replace with milk, then water? He is a big baby and certainly doesn’t need the calories. And I’m convinced it’s more for comfort than actual hunger. Overall he’s just a restless baby, startles easily and is not a great sleeper in general.
Thoughts?
Very tired mom
As with any feeding decision, I recommend you review it with your pediatrician. But I do think weaning at night might be helpful.
So my little guy is just about to turn 7 months old. He has an 8oz bottle at around 430pm, eats baby food at around 7pm, and then has a bottle around 830pm (which he eats anywhere from 4-6 oz). What would the recommendation be here since it’s not 3 consecutive bottle and more than 4oz? Thanks in advance!
The problem is feeds during the night. I don’t see an issue with what you are describing.
He still wakes up at night to feed after what I described above. He goes to “bed” at around 830pm, wakes at 1230am and then around 4am as well. I would like to know how to get him to sleep through the night. Your described plan only involves formula/breast milk. With how my son currently feeds how would I alter it to get him to sleep through the night? 😀 Any advice is greatly appreciated!
Anything?
Hi Doctor,
Our baby is 4 months old and we just started sleep training him using the cry-it-out method for the past three days. Every night, I make sure he is well fed and burped before putting him to sleep. The first two nights were successful, where he slept through the night from 9pm-7am. Yesterday, however, he woke up in the middle of the night at around 3 am. We used the cry it out method, going into his room to soothe him starting at 5 min and gradually increasing the time. Unfortunately, he cried for an hour and that’s when I finally picked him up and fed him. I’m trying to wean the night feed. What do you recommend?
He’s a bit on the young side to stop night feeds. I would keep at it on bedtime but feed him at night. Please discuss with your pediatrician.
Hi, my twins are 18 months old now. the problem is that they only fall asleep while drinking their milk in the bottle (if they are really sleepy and tired), or mostly if they are sleeping next to us . The other problem is with night feeds, one boy wakes up three times for a bottle (and wouldn’t take it unless in my bed) and the second once or twice.
My question is , shall i start by night bottle weaning or solving the sleeping onset issue first?
Thanks!
The bottle first!
My daughter is 10 months old and needs to be held with a bottle in her mouth to fall asleep, even for her naps. She sleeps the first stretch (usually 30 min, sometimes and hour and a half) in her crib then comes into our bed for the remainder of the night (otherwise she is up every half hour-hour). She wakes up in our bed 2-3 times for a feeding every night. If I don’t give her the bottle she just cries and cries until I give in. I want to sleep train but don’t know where to start, and also was wondering if I’m supposed to let her cry it out every time she wakes up in the middle of the night
Here (addressing the feeds) is actually a good place to start. I would cut down as noted above, then try to substitute a pacifier or (less desireable) a 2 oz bottle of water once you have weaned the calories.
Hi Dr.
My daughter is 9 months old and is sleep trained. She falls asleep on her own at bedtime and naps. However she eats 1-2 times a night. Probably habitual at this point. I used the decreased method you described. Now I’m on night two of two 2 oz water feedings at night. Unfortunately she likes water. Go figure! How long do you recommend I should I go with night feedings with water until I try sleep training? Thanks!!
If the drinking don’t go away in a week I would drop one, then the other in a few days.
Okay will do. Any thoughts on which one to drop first? 11pm or 2am?
Thank you!!
It doesn’t matter but dropping the 11 pm first may be less painful
i have a 2 year old who wakes up every hour or less he wakes up screaming an he gose to bed with a bottle of milk an wakes up through the night for a bottle of milk i do try an ignore him let him settle him self an 9/10 it works for a split second then starts crying again an then he just gets out of bed and comes in my room shouting at me he never bein a good sleeper from a baby but 2 years straight am shaterd please help what can i do thanks
Hi Rachel. I’m sure your pretty tired. I would try reducing the milk as noted above.
My 5 month old daughter had a sleep association with nursing/sucking to sleep, and so we sleep trained about a week ago. Now she falls asleep by herself with just a comfort object (lovey), with minimal crying- usually just about 5 minutes of fussing or wiggling around. However, she wakes more frequently at night now then she did before, and seems hungry each time. I used to feed her once around 4am, but she’s now waking multiple times before that and will settle herself back to sleep until I feed her. I’m hesitant to feed her more than once a night since I know she can make it til 4am, and I don’t want her to get into the habit of waking more often for feeds. She’s on the small side at 13 lbs, but is gaining steadily, nurses every three hours during the day and eats fruits and veggies. Should we CIO for feeds before her 4am feed time so as not to create a new habit?
You are probably in a bit of an extinction burst. I would comfort her without nursing except at 4 AM. Obviously please discuss with your pediatrician as well. This will likely improve in a week or two.
Thanks so much for your response. I tried just nursing at 4am last night, and will continue with that for a while (pediatrician ok’d) to see if she starts sleeping through to that time again. My next worry though, is in responding inconsistently when she’s up before 4am. If I comfort her in other ways or just let her fuss (which sometimes seems most effective in getting her back to sleep), but at 4am I feed her, might that send a mixed message? I’d like to use one consistent response, but that’s really difficult if I’m feeding her just once a night but she wakes more than once. I thought of trying to dream feed her rather than responding to her cries with nursing, but since she wakes a lot before the feed time I haven’t been able to beat her to it! Hoping this is the burst and will resolve itself soon… I’m so tired!
What I described above is still happening… Any advice?
My son is almost 13 months and has not slept through the night in about 2-3 months. He was sick and teething around that time and the only way to get him to go back down was giving him a bottle and now of course, 3 months later he still wants that bottle to go back down. He screams bloody murder if he doesn’t get the bottle, to the point where he makes him self sick. Should I try the ferber method again or just decrease the size of the bottle until he finally sleeps though the night (if ever).
Try reducing the size of the feeds in the bottle like in the guide.
My 16 month old son wakes up 2-4 times per night. Most of the time, he wants to nurse. We have tried having my husband go in his room to comfort him, but he gets more upset and calls for mommy. I work outside of the home and cherish the bonding that nursing provides, so I’m not quite ready to give up all of the night feedings, but I would appreciate less night wakings. Is is possible to sleep train while still retaining one feeding at night?
You certainly can sleep train at bedtime. I think that need to be consistent about giving up feeds except for the one you want.
My baby girl is one and I’ve weaned her down to just one ounce of watered down formula for all night bottles. She is not waking to eat and has developed such a strong association with needing the bottle to go back to sleep. I’ve even paid other sleep training sites for help to fix this issue but all they say is to wait 30 minutes or check and console method. This has not worked, in the end after 30-40 of fighting I end up giving her the 1 ounce bottle.
She cries so hysterically and chokes I can’t just ingnor it. I hold her and she pushes out of my arms. I feel trapped in this situation and hope you have some different advice to give.
Thanks in advance
Jamie
Hi Jamie. Unfortunately, I agree with the other advice provided. She is not going to stop on her own. You may see a significant amount of crying when you stop but it should not last for more than a few nights if you are consistent.