What do the families who come into Sleep Clinic have in common? Almost all of them have tried sleep training and failed. There are some common sleep training mistakes that parents make. Knowing about them may make the difference between success and failure.
(There are definitely some myths that some pediatricians share about sleep that may also trip parents up when sleep training).
Parents often feel guilty about sleep training. One of the reasons is that they have tried for a bit and then encountered severe resistance, often in the form of tears and crying all around. Then parents quit.
This always makes me feel terrible– both the parent and the child have suffered without even fixing the problem. Often, if they had persistent, their child would have started falling asleep more easily with just a day or two more of effort.
Many people think that sleep training exclusively implies a “cry it out” approach, which is technically referred to as extinction.
When I say sleep training, I am thinking of a range of behavioral (non-medicine based) methods that parents and physicians may use to help children fall and stay asleep.
If you want to know the best ways to sleep train, I wrote a comprehensive post on the best sleep training techniques here.
Here is my list of the top ten sleep training mistakes:
Avoid these problems and you will be much more successful at fixing your child’s sleep problems.
1. Starting sleep training at the wrong time.
Infants develop the ability to self soothe between 4-6 months of age. To be safe, I usually recommend starting around six months of age, but efforts in the 4-6 month window may be helpful. Before four months, just follow your child’s cues. Lately there have been some articles in the news about training younger infants but I don’t recommend this.
Also, avoid starting around potty training, or learning to walk. These big milestones are associated with lots of sleep disruption.
2. Not changing bedtime.
A well structured bedtime is the key to success. Kids with irregular bedtimes continue to have poor sleep through childhood. Bedtime should be enjoyable, predictable, and last no more than 30 minutes. Additionally, moving bedtime later (called “bedtime fading”) can really help reduce crying. Timing is also critical. If you are really struggling with getting your child to fall asleep at bedtime, you might be in the “forbidden” or “no-fly” zone. Everyone gets a second wind in the evening when they feel more awake. If you put your child down during this period, she will not fall asleep. Here’s how to know if your toddler’s bedtime is in the forbidden zone.
3. Missing the medical causes of sleep difficulties
Children with some medical problems (obstructive sleep apnea, restless leg syndrome, anxiety or severe nocturnal fears, asthma, pain, etc.) won’t necessarily respond to behavioral changes.
It is very common for patients presenting to Sleep Clinic to have more than one sleep problem. If I find multiple sleep issues in a patient, I start with treating the medical problems first before suggesting a behavioral plan. This is why you should discuss your child’s sleep issues with your pediatrician before starting.
4. Being inconsistent
This is probably the biggest problem that I see in clinic– parents who respond differently to their child at night. There are a lots of reasons for this. Exhausted parents have trouble being consistent and may sometimes fall asleep in their child’s bed. Sometimes, one parent handles bedtime or awakenings differently than the other. If the parents are separated, there may be different rules in different homes. Sometimes, a working parent may have the child sleeping at a grandparents’ house until later.
The most powerful form of conditioning is inconsistent positive reinforcement— like pulling the lever in a slot machine. If your child fusses nightly, and is brought into your bed some of the time, that is a very powerful message which validates the fussing.
5. Challenges in the bedroom
Many families live in apartments where the neighbors complain if their child fusses. The child may share a room with a sibling, or live on a noisy street. Sleep training in an apartment may be challenging. If the child shares a room with a sibling, I may recommend that the other child be moved to the parents’ room or another room for a few days to facilitate training.
Another common cause can be nighttime fears. Here’s a great intervention for dealing with this.
Also sometimes kids like to sleep in a room with the light on. This is not conducive to great sleep. If it is bright enough to read in your child’s room, it’s too bright for good sleep. Trying putting the light on a dimmer or moving it out of your child’s line of sight. And please, no electronics in the bedroom.
6. Not being ready
When people quit smoking, experts encourage them to have a “quit date” and not start until they are ready. If one parent is ambivalent, it is OK to wait. Also, defer starting until you can allow a few weeks for the new sleep pattern to be established. Don’t do it right before a vacation, or when house guests are staying, or right before your big presentation at work.
For more on this, read When Not To Sleep Train.
7. Moving your child into his or her room at the same time
If your child has never slept in his room successfully, he is going to have a real hard time if you move him into his room and start sleep training. You may need to move with your child into his room for a week until he is ready for you to start sleep training. Here is my article on how to stop cosleeping.
8. Feeding your child all night long
After six to nine months, most children don’t need calories at night. If you are feeding your child multiple times at night, you need to stop it so both you and she can sleep better. I have a guide on stopping night time feeds right here for you.
9. The “Extinction Burst”
This is a behavioral term describing that an undesirable behavior worsens before it improves when you are trying to get rid of it. This is especially common with “cry it out” sleep training.
Here’s what it looks like. Nervously, you decide to let your 9 month old cry himself to sleep. The first night wasn’t too bad. On the second or third night, he’s really screaming. For an hour. Finally, you give him and decide that it wasn’t work.
Sometimes this can get pretty real. Sometimes kids may cry to the point of throwing up. And sometimes little acrobats get creative.
Several years ago I received a frantic call from a friend. Their 18 month old had jumped out of the crib when fussing and had landed on her head. I happened to be nearby and went to check on her– she was fine. However, her parents elected to move her to a big girl bed and it took her issues a while to resolve. If you are sleep training an older toddler, remove things from the crib like bumpers that they can climb.
Unfortunately, if you persist, your child may be done with crying in a few more days. Sleep training usually works in 3-7 days in younger children, and usually the crying is practically done in one to two nights. People imagine that it will take weeks but it should not. If you are trying and you are stuck after this period of time, call your pediatrician.
10. Switching to a bed prematurely
I usually recommend switching kids to a bed around age 2.5-3 years of age, when they are sleeping well. Parents often try switching their kids out of a crib when they are sleeping poorly. Or they may buy an expensive mattress or sheets for their child.
I get it. If you’ve lain down next to your child in a toddler bed or crib, it’s pretty uncomfortable.
Let me tell you though– the problem isn’t the bed or the crib. It’s the behavior. And if your child is sleeping poorly in their crib, it usually gets worse when you make the switch.
The exception is the crib jumping. Then you have to make the switch.
What are the most common sleep training mistakes?
If I had to narrow it down to the two most common reasons why parents struggle and fail with sleep training, I would say that inconsistency and the extinction burst are the most significant.
Parents: what are are the biggest sleep training mistakes you have made?
Our 23 month old is in the middle of a major sleep regression. We did Ferber around a year, and sleep was GREAT from then until about 2 weeks ago. Started with an illness, lots of night waking, coughing etc. Now he’s waking pretty hysterical, yelling for us – if we go into his room he demands to sleep in our bed (which we’ve caved and have done – I know, I know..) and is also wanting milk in the middle of the night (which we’ve done….I KNOWWWWW, the worst). He hasn’t tried to climb out of his crib, we have tried ignoring him – he just gets more and more upset/loud/crying. I know separation anxiety can be an issue at this age – he has started to talk much more about not wanting to go to school/work, “Mommy don’t leave the house” at bedtime, and we reassure him that we are in the house, etc. Do we try to fix all of this at once, or address one issue at a time (ie the milk?). Help?
I’d start with the milk and then work from there. You could also see my FAQ for more information.
Dear Dr,
I have a 10month old son who I am endeavouring to sleep train. Bedtime routine is good & consistent, he is going to sleep without much issue.
The real problem is night awakening. He has been waking at least once or twice a night to feed, but my health visitor says he is old enough to go without night feedd now so, after trying lots of non-crying methods, we decided to CIO.
Last night (day 1 of training) he woke at 01:30 (went to sleep at 7pm). He eventually went back to sleep at about 4am after crying all that time (me periodically checking in).
Tonight (day 2), he went to sleep at 7pm but woke at 03:30 and is still crying now (06:20). I have been periodically checking. The problem is that we’d normally be getting up about now! I don’t think I should get him up or feed because that might send the message that I give in after three hours?! Likewise, I don’t know how much more I or my son can take of the crying. Is this an extinction event?
I think you need to keep to the same schedule as usual. If you would get him up for breakfast, then you should do so. I suspect you will be over the hump soon. Best of luck.
Hi Dr. Canapari,
Thanks for your website. I’m pretty desperate. I have a 6 month old daughter we are attempting to sleep train. Prior to sleep training, she slept in our room and was constantly waking up. I would nurse her back to sleep (big mistake!).
Tonight will be our 8th night of sleep training. Her bedtime routine is consistent and she is in her crib by 7. Solids, bath, tummy time/play, then we go into her bedroom where the lights are dim around 6:45pm. She is tired and rubbing her eyes. I play a lullaby and breastfeed her until she is sleepy. I place her in her crib when she is awake. She protests immediately or sometimes will fall asleep but only for 10 minutes before waking up and screaming. The screaming crying will last anywhere from 2-3 hours. The screams just get louder the longer she cries. I will go in and comfort her in timed intervals. She has only ever fallen asleep when I’m in the room during the time I’m comforting her after a lot of crying. She will then sleep until 3 am where I go in and quickly feed her (5 minutes) and place her back in her crib. She will sleep until 6:45am (HUGE improvement from before).
Last night I tried camping out to see if I could eliminate the hours of crying. She fell asleep much easier but did not stay asleep. She was up every 2 hours throughout the night.
I thought by the 8th night we would have had this down but instead I feel even more frustrated. She has cried for over 14 hours in the past week. I feel cruel for letting this continue. Are some babies more stubborn? Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. Thank you sooo much!!
You’ve got to think about what you are doing during the checks at night. A check is looking at your child, telling them it is OK, that you love them, and that it is time to go to sleep. Then you leave. No touching. No picking them up. Checks are more for parents than for kids and in many kids may prolong the crying. See my FAQ for more information..
We are working on sleep training my 8 month old son. he was a very colicky newborn and has grown into a very sprited, active infant. Sleep has been a challenge with him right from the start. We were never able to put him down while awake early on and have, as a result developed sleep associations with nursing and rocking to sleep. we have been consistent with bedtime (around 7:30pm) as well as our routine,though he usually cries through almost the whole thing until I nurse him at which point he falls asleep and we place him in the crib. He used to wake once or twice a night for a feed and was quickly back to sleep. Well, that has now turned into waking about every 2 hours, or more often, where he is instantly screaming until either myself or my husband rocks him to sleep. He does not stop screaming when we go to him, but only after some time rocking or if I nurse him. I only nurse him at his midnight and 4am wakings.
We are not opposed to CIO, but I don’t really know how to go about it for these night wakings. He sounds absolutely terrified/angry immediately upon waking. We have started pick up/put down method because I can’t seem to find anything else that could potentially work for our little guy. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.
What you need to do is let him fall asleep on his own. You can continue with what you are doing at night and the awakenings will likely resolve over time.
Last night was night 2 of sleep training (progressive waiting) our 5 month old. He cried longer than the first night, but from what I read, that seems normal. What I am concerned with is that he consistently wakes one hour after he falls asleep, and that usually continues through most of the night. I am not really sure what to do about the night wakings. Anytime my husband tries to get him to calm down, he resists and screams until he is finally handed to me which then he will usually stop crying immediately. Also, my husband is really concerned with how intensely our son cries. It’s pretty much a scream and he is worried it is harmful to let him cry to that degree. Any help is appreciated. Thank you!
There isn’t much evidence that sleep training hurts your child– and believe me, my kids cried pretty hard too. The night time awakenings will get better with time.
We’ve been sleep training our 5 month old for a few weeks now…she has always been a pretty fussy baby, used to require bouncing on a yoga ball to calm down or fall asleep & woke up often during the night. Now she initially goes to sleep at bedtime easy but always wakes up about 30 min later & cries for 20-30 minutes pretty much non-stop. Then shell wake up about every 3-4 hours. I feel like she should be improving by now but it’s pretty consistent every night. Is she too little to learn from sleep training? She also still fights going down for naps pretty hard as well. Any advice??
Hard to say. A later bedtime may help. I would also make sure that you are very consistent in the way you respond to her. See my FAQ for more information.
Hi!
I am currently sleep training my 7.5 months old daughter. We are on second night currently, and I have already faced a serious problem. She falls asleep on her stomach with face right down in the mattress. I know that it is not safe, so I turn her over, she then wakes up and all the crying starts again. What should I do?
This is worth talking about with your pediatrician. In general, once kids can roll over, I relax the “back to sleep” rule provided that the sleeping environment is safe (firm crib mattress, no loose blankets, stuffed animals, crib bumpers etc in the bed). Good luck.
Ive really enjoyed these articles! Thanks!
We have an almost 7 yr old, a nearly 6 yr old and an almost 3.5 yr old. We moved into our new home a year ago and actually started getting better sleep than ever before. HOWEVER we have hit a strange wall. In spite of pretty good bedtime routines they are now struggling to fall asleep and wake in the night time wanting to come into our bed. There are no night terrors or bad dreams to speak of. I am now a tired and very cranky mom.
Evening routine looks like this: They are all home from respective schools at about 4:15, they get some TV time till 5:30 when it goes off and our first grader does her homework while the other two play and supper is made ready. Supper between 6/6:15, bath/shower after, PJ’s and dental care, story, into bed, song, big lights out. Our girls recently moved into their own room in order to help bedtime go more smoothly. The 3 yr old likes it more quiet and dark, the 5 yr old usually falls asleep very quickly and the 6 yr old has never needed much sleep. So the 6 yr old has now been allowed to have a period of time when she can look at books quietly with a small light by her bed.
This seemed to be working well and now… They suddenly want more closeness as well as the simple fact that they are waking up more often.
I will start melatonin this week and see how that helps in the overall pattern. Are we making a mistake letting our almost 7 yr old look at books for another half hour or so?
I don’t think that the reading is a problem. However, I’m a bit concerned about the melatonin because a) it doesn’t help too much with awakenings b) this sounds behavioral. Being a bit firmer during the awakenings will likely get you back to where you were. I can’t tell you why these phases occur, but if you are consistent, your kids will likely be sleeping well soon.
Hi…great advice on here!
We have just started sleep training our soon to be 1 year old (started 1 week ago). He just moved into his room, his crib. We’ve got a 5-10 minute routine, consistent 7:30 bedtime down…cries about 20 minutes (not even consistently) but he will not lay down. We have a video monitor…so looking in on him through that, he sleeps sitting up, head bobbing and all. He’ll make it all night without crying, but he is not getting a restful sleep. We don’t go in and lay him down because I know he’ll just wake up and cry. Is he just being stubborn? Is there anything we should do differently?
Thanks in advance!
Sometimes, I think video monitors cause more problems then they solve. I suspect if you stay the course, you will see improvement. Best of luck
Thanks…I think you are right. Tonight…no monitor – his room is next to ours, so I know I’ll hear him if there’s a problem. He’s our 4th child – and first video monitor. I wonder if our others did the same? Who knows! And they are all fine and sleep very well, on their own, now 12,9, and 6 years old. Thanks for the reassurance!
My son is turning one year old tomorrow and we are on night 7 of sleep training. We start our routine right after dinner which is bath, story, singing and/or play, nursing then put him in his crib awake. Nights one, two and six he cried for 5-15 minutes then I went in to lay him down (he stands and cries) and he goes right to sleep. The other nights he went to bed awake and fell asleep on his own. EVERY night he wakes up 2-5 times where he cries for 5 minutes, I go in and tell him it’s bedtime, lay him down and he goes right to sleep. Should I not be laying him down when I go in to check? I don’t know why he’s still waking up multiple times a night? I try to hold off on his morning nurse until 7am everyday because that is when he gets up for daycare. Before sleep training he was nursing at 4 or 5 am then going back to sleep. Do I need to push on because we are close or am I missing something? I think my biggest problem is bringing him in my bed in the morning for his morning nurse and he sometimes falls back to sleep in my bed. We are exhausted because of his night waking!
That’s tough. I think you may need to start ignoring him at some point and letting him lie down if things do not improve. I also agree that having him come in in the morning is not helping you.
Hello, I am reaching out because we have been working really hard with my 8 month old daughter on sleep training (something I resisted with every bone in my body until she turned about 7 months and it simply was no longer sustainable for any of us). We have used Ferber, though our check-in schedule was slightly shorter than what Ferber describes in his book, but we did go up each waking and each night. The first couple nights were rough, but she did so much better than we expected. She was doing an amazing job settling during night wakings and crying less and less at bedtime until she basically didn’t cry at all. We waited to train for naps until about a week ago and so far it’s going quite well – she’s able to settle herself for a nap in her crib pretty quickly and we aren’t letting her fall asleep on the bottle/nursing before the nap. The last couple weeks though, while doing great at falling asleep for bedtime (after a routine of nursing > bath > lavender lotion massage > diaper change/PJs > books > lullaby > crib awake), she’s getting worse with night wakings. My daughter, who still breastfeeds or drinks pumped milk by bottle, has not really needed night feedings since about 6 months old (I could tell because when I would offer to feed her during the night, she would very quickly fall asleep and not really eat much – suggesting she was doing it for comfort). In the last couple weeks, she is waking up more during the night and getting really upset and unable to settle herself back down. My husband and I disagree about what to do next – I have a hard time ignoring her in the middle of the night and worry that she could be hungry even if she may not technically “need” to get fed then and my husband thinks that we are reinforcing the crying, which only leads to more crying, by me going in there to feed her. She will eat during these night wakings, but not so much that it’s clear she needed that feeding and she really resists going back down in her crib after this such that each of these wakings takes like 1-1.5 hours. We’re all exhausted and I feel like while we made progress with bedtime and nap times, we are really regressing in terms of night wakings, which makes two full-time attorney parents very sleepy and defeated. I’m curious if this comes up and whether you have any advice. Much appreciated!!
Sorry for the delay. I wonder if this is a late extinction burst. In which case you need to stay the course. I would counsel against escalating feeds as it will reinforce the awakenings. Finally, it’s worth checking in with your pediatrician to rule out a medical cause.
Hi there. My Son is a “high needs baby”. He has always been fussy, never taken naps or slept well at night. I started sleep training him about 2 weeks ago. I’ve removed all the sleep associations (except swaddle bc I think he still startles himself awake). I put him down fully awake for naps abd bedtime. He still is waking up multiple times a night and naps we wakes up 30 to 40 mins later and I let him cio back to sleep. When will he start sleeping through the night? Meaning 7pm to 6am? Is it not working because he’s a high needs baby? I’m really trying here! Help!!
Hi there. Hard to answer without knowing how old your son is. Would definitely discuss with your pediatrician and make sure there isn’t a hidden medical cause such as GERD.
Hello Craig
Thanks for all the advice. We’ve been following this with our one year old and have had massive improvements.
We have a consistent bedtime at 7pm bed by 7.30. He fall straight to sleep on his own now (previously only after nursing/patting). He still wakes up occasionally for a drink of water then goes straight back off on his own.
Our last hurdle is that he’s waking at about 5am, doesn’t appear to want anything in particular but he just won’t settle back down, he still appears tired (rubbing eyes & ears/yawning etc)
We’ve tried dropping his morning nap but it makes no difference (he has 30mins at 10am and 2hrs at 1pm)
Is there anything else you can suggest to stop this early waking?
Thanks Craig
Oh man I remember those early morning awakenings– they are brutal. I have some info here but there isn’t always a quick fix.
Hello….. We just barely switched our 21 month over to a toddler bed…. We are expecting another baby in a month. We were trying to do the switch early so he didn’t feel like he was getting pushed out (this way he would have a few months since baby will be in our room for a while) We have stuck to our normal bed routine for a week and haven’t had a lot of luck. Before the transition he was a great sleeper, we would just lay him down and he would put him self to sleep. Ever since moving him to the toddler bed we have to soothe him completely to sleep or he sits at the door and cries. (He is sleeping for a good stretch at night once we get him to sleep, but isn’t sleeping as long as he used to…. Also his naps have been a lot shorter as well.) I know it may take a little bit for him to get used to his new room/bed. How long does it normally take for them to get used to the transition? Should I be letting him cry it out to go to bed at this point? Any help would be great!
This may seem heretical, but would you consider putting him back in the crib and having the baby sleep in the bassinet for a bit?
I’m slowly starting to sleep train my 6 month old who wakes up 2-4 times during the night. My question is if I’m putting her to bed at 7:15 what is an acceptable time for her to nurse? Am I reinforcing night wakings if I feed her at a 5 am wake up? Or would that be acceptable? She would definitely go back to sleep after. She typically sleeps until 7:45 with at least 1-2 feedings in the night.
It depends on what you want to do. If you want to get rid of those night feeds you will need to consider weaning. Honestly, otherwise things sound pretty good.
I am at my wit’s end with my son’s sleeping habits. It seems I’ve tried everything and nothing seems to work. My daughter is almost two and she had a hard time with sleep until she was night weaned around age one. She is very high energy and we had to let her cry it out or else she would just want to play with us ALL THE TIME. She is a great sleeper now.
My son is a whole different ball game and I have to say that after reading tons of online threads, books, etc. I have never seen anyone with a similar issue and I just don’t know what to do. He was 6 weeks premature and spent two months in the hospital, part of that time involved a heart surgery and recovery time. He’s had several health issues but I’ve been assured by his pediatrician and cardiologist that it’s ok for him to cry; he is almost 7 months and about 5 months adjusted (his motor skills are about 3 months adjusted, so I wonder if that has anything to do with it.) Anyway, ever since he came home from the hospital he’s been waking up for 1-2 hours in the night and just sitting there. I used to go be with him and try to get him to sleep or lay down with him but he’s like my daughter and any interaction stimulates him to stay awake longer. I try nursing him to sleep but that rarely works. We decided to let him cry during that time and he usually cries for an hour then falls asleep, but crying then, plus at bedtime and naptime has me on edge all the time and it’s just too much for him. I hate crying but understand it can be useful/necessary with some kids. This just seems like too much!I just don’t know how else to get him to sleep for more than 30 mins at a time during the day. He also has the hardest time with naps. The thing is, he will sleep for hours if he’s in the Ergo, but I just can’t wear him for all his naps anymore. He likes to sleep and is very cuddly, he just has a hard time falling asleep unassisted and me doing anything to help him seems to make him more wired. This is his schedule lately:
Wake around 7:30 am, nap around 9 (he usually cries for 30 mins then sleeps for an hour), nap around 12 (same thing)…I tried doing a third nap but he will cry for longer than an hour for this nap because he’s so tired or mad. I’ve started putting him to bed around 5:30 or 6 (like Weissbluth suggests for an overly tired baby) and he does ok until around 2:30, then it starts all over again with the awake times and the crying. I’ve tried crying, not crying, soothing, nursing, singing, walking around, taking him downstairs, moving bedtime later and earlier, waking him up earlier, more and less naps, etc. I have NO idea what to do!!!! Anything you can suggest would be so helpful. Thank you!
It sounds like things are all over the place. If you are worried about a possible medical cause of his sleep issues (which is understandable) I would consider having your pediatrician order a sleep test. If that is normal I think that you might need to consider either a cry it out method or a “less cry” solution like camping out. Best of luck.
I have another question regarding night wakings. My 5.5 month old goes down really easy. No fussing or crying, but is a restless sleeper. Often wakes up every hour or so, fusses and cries and then back to sleep. Then around ten she is wide awake. I nurse her and put her back down and she throws herself a party in her crib until 1 or 2 in the morning. I tried one time to pat or even rock her to sleep, but it made it worse. She will then sleep until around 5am, nurses, and then goes back down easy. We’re on night 8 of sleep training. I’m not concerned about nursing two times in the night, but it’s upsetting that she is wide awake for two to four hours in the middle of the night. Any advice? (We have a bedtime routine, I don’t nurse to sleep, she takes three naps a day…her first nap being two hours and the other two are a struggle and around thirty to forty minutes. Her wake time between sleep is about 90 minutes and her bed time is down at 630 and usually asleep before 7. She would sleep all morning if I let her, but I have been waking her up at 8 or 830.)
A few thoughts. 1) After six months of age you may need to look at the night nursing if they occur at every awakening or increase in frequency. 2) She has a pretty long sleep opportunity if she is sleeping in in the morning– If she is sleeping for more than 14 hours a day you may want to consistently get her up at 7 am
Hi
I have a 1.5 year old who cries hard at nap time and bedtime. She sleeps through the night most of he time after she finally falls asleep. She started this last June and has not stop. She had stopped in September for a few weeks but then we left town and it started up again. Any suggestions. I most often breast feed her at bedtime and occasionally she will fall asleep but most of the time goes into her crib awake. I have tried rocking her, sleep training her, going. Back in only makes it start all over again. Sometimes she cries for a minute, sometimes 15-30. As she gets older, the crying is harder. I have two older daughters that I sleep trained around 8 months and they never had a problem.
I feel bad listening to the crying as she is the happiest kid during the day. I keep hoping she will realize crying won’t get us back in there as most of the time, we just let her cry.
A later bedtime might help you in the evenings.
Hello DR Canapari,
My daughter is 16 month old. Wakes up every 1.5 hours to feed. We are co-sleeping since her birth. We don’t have a crib for her. Please help me with the following questions:
1) suggest me with the detailed sleep training plan apart from CIO
2) is it necessary to buy a crib in order to sleep train her
3) is it possible is she can sleep train n share our bed
Please help me … I have not had sleep since her birth..
Thank you for ur support
With hopes
Jessu
1. Lots of answers RE different techniques on my Sleep Training methods page.
2. A crib will be helpful. A pack and play is cheaper and will work just as well.
3. It’s pretty difficult and unlikely to get better if you keep doing what you have been doing.
Best of luck
Some great advise here already- thank you.
I am going to try CIO as from tonight, because to be honest I am a very pregnant very grouchy zombie right now!
Bit of background- my son had reflux as a baby and has struggled a little with phlegm/mucous up until recently. At 1 year old he got croup pretty badly and I was so afraid he would stop breathing I felt I had to allow him to sleep propped up next to me. This went on for over a week. From then on, he would be hysterical when I put him in his cot and would get so worked up he would choke and vomit. I couldn’t bear it and so from then until around a month ago he slept in with us.
Around 2 months ago, at 28 months old, we started getting him to sleep in his new toddler bed with bed guard. Prior to this we started spending more time in his room so he was used to the surroundings. We started off laying with him, as he always soothed himself whilst playing with our earlobes before turning over and going to sleep (part of our problem!). We then tried finding an alternative comforter but he just wasn’t interested in anything so we decided after a week or so to start sitting by the door after we put him to bed until he fell asleep.
We are still at this stage, sometimes having to lay with him to get him to stay in bed (especially at 4am after the 4th wake up), but usually sitting by the door until he falls asleep. The trouble we are having, is that in the last week he has gone from waking 3-4 times a night to waking 6-7 times a night (this has happened for the last 3 nights). Would you say it’s time for CIO? I am thinking that training him to self soothe will help him to go back to sleep without waking us when he wakes through the night? I’d really appreciate your help, second baby due in May so we are hoping to crack this before then. Thank you!
If you are stuck you tend to have to switch to CIO. I think you are almost there.
Hi there.. I have just recently started to sleep train my 6m old little girl.. It’s going great but she has just started to teeth and is a lot more sleepy.. My question is if I let her sleep more during the day is it going to mess everything up. Should I stick to the our routine instead? Thank you
The most important thing is making sure that she does not nap for 3-4 hours prior to her bedtime. Otherwise, follow her cues.